Has one question or comment from someone ever changed your worldview - your perspective – your life?
Let’s flip the question: Has one question or comment that you’ve made changed someone’s worldview – perspective – or their life?
A relative of mine recently went for a job interview. She told me that during the interview the manager asked her an interesting question. Though the question caught her by surprise, she did have an answer.
The manager asked her: “So, what are you looking for in a boss?”
At the outset, she answered by saying: “Well, I believe that the boss or leader at a job should be the greatest servant in the job.” “I was raised to believe that great leaders are great leaders because they’re great servants. Just like a great teacher is a great teacher because they’re a great student.”
To this reply the manager’s posture changed as she leaned back on her chair and relaxed. tilting her head and with the most pleasant look on her eyes, she responded by saying: “What a beautiful answer. You’re hired.”!
Can you imagine? You give one answer to a question and it gets you hired. Her life was just changed. She will be making double per hour than she is currently making.
"Great leaders are great followers, just like great teachers are great students" - Alex Colon Tweet This
Though I’ve never had a job given to me by this type of response (probably because I’ve never been asked that type of question), yet, I have had similar experiences in my business.
So, let me ask you another question: what is your main goal for your spouse and your family?
I know we all have goals in life with our families, but I’d like to get down to the root of every goal.
With a healthy root, you’ll produce healthy fruit.
So here are 2 Essential Keys to Experience A Thriving Family
If you want to teach or lead your wife, your husband or your children, the most important thing you can do is to first be a learner. There are two ways to be a learner and both are essential.
The first one is to learn from other sources, i.e., good written material, conversations, and examples from others on how to be a great spouse and a great parent.This essentially is the way to prepare for your future as a spouse and a family person.
The second way to learn is by listening and observing your spouse and or your children.
In other words, be a student of your family by paying attention to what they like and don’t like. Listen to how they communicate.
Notice their worldview, their understanding of life, Scriptures, impulses, reactions, attitudes, etc. This gives you a great way to understand who they are and how they function that way you can implement the next key.
An interesting, yet daring question you can ask your spouse is: “what are you looking for in a husband, wife or marriage?”
At the same time, you can ask your kids: “what are you looking for in a parent.”You’ll be amazed at what the answers might be.
"It's important to be a student of your family by paying attention to what they like and don’t like for a thriving family." - Alex Colon Tweet This
Most people don’t look at marriage or family as an opportunity to serve. In fact, most fathers I know use their kids to serve them. They normally ask them to do something for them without a “please” or “thank you.” This causes other problems, of course.
I don’t want to sound self-righteous or toot my own horn or anything, but let me share a quick idea with you.
Two weeks into our marriage, (almost 29 years ago) my new wife and I were having a conversation at our new/used kitchen table, (that was given to us cause we couldn’t afford one), and in the middle of our conversation I told her one thing.
I said: “Dear, I want you to know that I didn’t marry you to change you.I like you just the way you are – that’s why I married you.But instead, I married you to serve you.”
To her amazement and to my surprise her jaw dropped, she stared at me like a deer on headlights, and I was like, “what’s wrong? Did I say something wrong?”
Apparently, it isn’t customary for a 23-year-old to utter such worlds to a 21-year-old. Of course, a few years later I realized that I really didn’t know the magnitude of my remark. But it sure was my heart’s desire. And I’ve kept my end of the deal, I might add.
After all, I liked her very much, I thought she was almost perfect, and that’s one of the reasons why I married her. So why try to change her – like many couples do?
Anyway, that was my idea. And I’m glad she felt the same way – up until a year later when she realized that I wasn’t as perfect as she thought, meanwhile she caught on to some of my weird habits like -well, never mind.
Truth is, I always believed that marriage was about serving one another and doing whatever it took to make the other complete – as much as possible.
Now almost 29 years later, that has been one of our main goals – to serve one another. It’s amazing when you genuinely love and care for your spouse, they would want to do the same for you.
When it comes to your kids, it may take a bit longer for them to catch on – after multiple repetitions – but after a while, possibly a few years, it’ll be a beautiful thing to see in your kids.
I realize that there are incidents where there are unfortunate results in various relationships.
Sometimes in the process of learning some may misunderstand you, and in the process of serving you may feel like you’re being taken advantage of.
But in a marriage and a family where Christ is first and foremost, and where biblical principles are practiced and lived, learning and serving become an enjoyable lifestyle.
In Matthew 10:24-25a Jesus uttered some very important words. He said: “A disciple (student or follower) is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master (or employee above his boss). It is enough for the disciple to be like his teacher, and the servant like his master.”
When these words are lived out from a pure heart and with pure motives the end-result will be a changed worldview, a new perspective, a changed and healthy life with a thriving family.
I wonder, how has your servanthood skills impacted your marriage or your family? Please share your thoughts below.
About the Author
Alex Colón, Entrepreneur, Author, Speaker, Teacher, Pastor, Blogger and best of all, Husband and Father of 4. Living the re-Branded life