The 5 Simple Areas To Refocus Your Marriage
We all get sidetracked. We all get discouraged at some point in time.
We all get distracted by something apparently better or different.
Even our marriages suffer at times from our focus or from our spouse’s attention.
Have you experience such dilemma?
Most of us have.
Distraction is the nemesis - the rival - the competitor - the enemy of focus.
We are constantly tempted to pull away from a consistent marriage-focus.
We are also constantly tempted to pull away from a consistent focus on Christ.
As a result, we often find ourselves being tossed to and fro by the concerns and obligations of life. In the process our Christian walk takes a back seat and our marriage suffers.
I’m going to go off on a limb here and make a radical statement. Most of you will agree with me, while others probably won’t.
Before I make this radical statement, let me say this first – I’m fully aware that we all have differences, characteristics and make-ups that often clash with others - including our spouses.
I’m aware that in marriage we encounter difficulties we never thought of – even if we had a great premarital counseling program.
"We are constantly tempted to pull away from a consistent marriage-focus. Our marriages often need to refocus." CTT
Marriage is not easy - it takes work. Yet it could be (and ought to be) fun and rewarding.
I’m fully aware that we all have different backgrounds and fears that often times collide with our marriage relationships. But hear me out.
Here's my statement: I also believe that most (if not all) of our marriage difficulties and breakdowns are due to a need of Jesus in our lives and his involvement in our marriage relationship.
Earlier I said that we all get sidetracked and distracted – deceived by something apparently better than whatever it is we currently have.
A Refocus is vital.
Stay with me.
Keeping focus on Christ means that we’re purposefully fading out everything that pulls us away from connecting with Him.
It’s a disciplined lifestyle of choosing to see every blessing and struggle through the lens of Christ.
It’s vital to our marriage relationship that we maintain a personal intimate relationship with Christ first, which consequently, spills over into our marriage relationship.
Having Jesus as the center of our lives – he automatically become the center of marriage relationship too.
So when your marriage is dying it needs to refocus on the right objective in order to thrive and not just survive.
But how can we stay focused in a world filled with busyness and distractions – day in and day out?
Have you ever taken a picture with your camera or your phone, and you were so excited about it only to look at it later and realize that it turned out blurry and fuzzy? You get mad and delete it – right?
Well, I do.
I can’t stand blurry pics. It messes with my eyesight, and I can’t enjoy the value and authenticity of the picture.
Here’s probably the reason why. I took photography when I was in high school. I really enjoyed it. It was fun and learned a lot.
I used a 35mm camera with three different lenses to play with. It was great.
Fast-forward 35 years and now my wife, a professional photographer has taught me even more. She’s taught me about the “magic” of DSLR cameras.
These digital contraptions called: “cameras” almost create miracles through the lenses and the systems they’re made of.
It’s amazing how a new type of camera can do amazing things. From different settings, to auto-focus lenses, to still action shots and much more.
You can even look at your picture a immediately, as opposed to taking it to the store to get developed, and decide if it’s worth keeping or rejecting and retake the shot.
Totally amazing. (I think I just revealed my age here)
But you know what’s interesting about these cameras?
According to my wife and every professional photographer, there are times when all those gadgets don’t mean anything. In fact, they can hurt the quality of the image you’re interested in.
For example, the auto-focus in your camera is kind of like a microwave oven. Just a few short decades ago, it didn't exist. And now we have no idea how we could live without it.
Today, the idea of shooting all of our images with manual focus and adjusting your own settings seems a bit crazy.
But here's the thing, and you may find it hard to believe - there are some shooting situations where you need to shut off your auto-focus and manually adjust your own settings.
There are some shooting situations where your auto-focus and some settings are going to hinder you instead of help you.
Believe it or not, in our Christian walk, and in our marriages, the same is true.
Wanna know something most people don’t?
Here it is. Both your Christian walk and your marriage relationship take a long time to develop and mature.
There are times when you can’t simply use your auto-focus, and all the goodies you carry in the "experience settings" of your life.
In today's society you want your husband or your wife to understand you from one conversation, one year of marriage or one confrontation.
You want respect from your husband or your wife to pay attention to you and work with you and be in sync with you from just one counseling session or one discussion you had over coffee.
Truth is, it doesn’t work that way. You’ve been lead to believe a lie if that’s how you expect your marriage to work. But I believe you're smarter than that.
And if you thought that your marriage as well as your Christian walk was a piece of cake where you say a prayer and God bless you and changes your marriage, you’re seriously mistaken.
And guess what? It’s not your fault.
Nope. Somebody taught you wrong.
Let me be level with you.
Your marriage may be dying because there are some areas in your relationship that are in need of refocus.
"Both your Christian walk and your marriage relationship take a long time to develop and mature." ctt
YOU were designed for more. YOU were meant for more. YOU were meant for God’s power and blessings to live in you and flow though you.
YOU were meant for excellence. We weren’t meant for perfection, but surely for excellence.
God wants to bless you, your marriage and your family. He wants to bring your marriage to a level of excellence.
He wants to display his glory in and through your marriage. But none of this will happen in a microwavable manner - not when living life in auto-focus.
I’ll be the first one to tell you that I don't have the right formula to solve your marriage problems.
Unfortunately, there’s no such recipe because each situation is unique and should be addressed as such.
However, there are some essential steps couples must take to have a thriving and successful marriage.
There are 5 areas your marriage needs to refocus in order to make a marriage thrive and God shine through the relationship.
One thing I’m certain – you keep Christ in the center of your life and bringing your marriage to refocus on these 5 essential areas will be almost a breeze. They’re not hard at all. They're rather simple - but they take some time.
If you want to know what these 5 areas your marriage needs to refocus on, please let me know in the comments below and I will post them next week.
I can’t wait to share them with you.
Share your comments below.