5 things to look for in people you want to be influenced by
Relationships are one of the most important things in our lives.
Relationships are what makes a community thrive, a church positively influential and a home unshakably strong.
Can I ask you this, how are your relationships at home and abroad?
No really, what type of relationships do you have? What are they like?
In today’s society, relationships are important – yet different than what they used to be. Today, many build relationships more on social media than in person. This is not true relationships. You can get to know a person on social media by a fraction in comparison to how well you can get to know them in person.
Relationships are best built in person – in reality time – not in within the confinements of an electronic device.
The people we choose to walk with through our life will have a huge impact where we’ll end up. Think about that.
Their influence is important. Good relationships help us make decisions, love us for who we are and they help us ultimately become better people.
Truth is nobody is an island unto themselves – we all get influenced by someone nearly every day.
As you think about the quality of your relationships, I’d encourage you to consider taking what I once heard: a “Friend-entory.”
A friend-entory is an inventory of the friends you have and of those around you who regularly influence you.
Good relationships help us make decisions, love us for who we are and they help us ultimately become better people.
My grandma used to say this to me and to my siblings: “tell me who you hang around with and I’ll tell you what you are.”
That was something I tried to keep in mind, but most of the time it managed to dissipate resulting pain.
Here are some things to consider when taking a friendentory:
1. Are the people around you supporting you in making wise choices?
2. Are they championing you in your marriage and family relationships?
3. Are those same people building you up in your faith?
4. Are they causing you trouble or even causing you to get into trouble?
5. Are they encouragers by nature or are they prone to be critical of others?
Choosing the right relationships to build our lives around is very important. We only have this one life to live. This is not a dress rehearsal so we have to make sure the people we choose to spend the most time with are pulling out the best in us and pushing us closer to God – not away from him and away from the things that matter most.
Most of us instinctively know the right people to choose to influence our lives, but we don’t always pursue those relationships. We just seem to assume they will automatically arrive. But that’s not quite the case.
God wants us to have the kind of relationships that pour into our lives and give us fuel in our tanks – a positive input in our quest for life.
Much like Jonathan and David who had a strong bond and commitment between them. They supported each other, they looked out for each other’s well-being. They never did anything that would harm the other - God desires the same for us.
You might be thinking: “But Alex, this is what a friend is, not just a casual relationship.” Well, yes and no.
These ideas help us in our relationships with our true friends – yes, but our influencers don’t only come from our friendships, they mostly come from our acquaintances, and those around us who we either look up to or simply put up with.
Here are 5 things to look for in people you want to be influenced by.
1. Think about people in your life that may be flying under the radar because they are usually humble.
In other words, they are the ones who are not looking for a constant recognition or applause from others. They are there to serve, and love on others. They are often real.
2. Look for people that frequently encourage others.
Now, everyone loves to be encouraged. But I’m not talking about the flighty encourager for the sake of making you feel good or better about yourself.
This person often times just wants to be accepted. The person I’m talking about is the one who will encourage you in a real way.
An encourager, according to the dictionary, is not just the person who delivers a positive input into one’s life, but also brings correction and motivation to assist one in making wise decisions for best results.
For example, a teacher teaches by providing new information and correcting wrong material in order to help the student enhance their knowledge.
A coach sees potential in his athlete. He encourages him by motivating, challenging and pushing him to do what he knows the athlete is capable of.
A good relationship with your children will help them transition in various areas of their lives.
Often, when a parent has a good relationship with their children, they don't need friends to relate to, they just need a friend to hang out with - to have fun with. But not to feel accepted, related to, or improve in life. Mom and dad fit that mold just fine.
When you receive encouragement from a good relationship you will always end up becoming a better person than you were before you both met.
3. Look for people that easily forgive wrongs – not quick to holding grudges toward others.
In order to build quality relationships, we not only look for the right person; we also have to be the right person. Click to Tweet
4. Look for people who are following God’s will in their lives.
These are really the right people to follow. They’re not perfect – they want to follow the One who’s perfect in order to make a difference in their world. These are the people who will help you get to the next level in your relationship with God, with your spouse, your family and others around you.
Finding or developing good relationships is a must in life. But there’s a key to this process.
In order to build quality relationships, we not only look for the right person; we also have to be the right person.
In our culture we are taught to focus on ourselves and what makes us happy, but God’s ways are often counter cultural.
He says if we want to be happy we have to give ourselves away and look for ways to make others happy.
Here’s a secret for you - We must be the kind of friend that we are looking for.
This reminds me of the verse that says: “do unto others, as you want others do unto you."
We must be humble, not pushing for our wan way.
We must be patient and kind even though it seems like that is the last thing we want to do.
Question: How else can we establish good relationships? Share your comments below.
About the Author
Alex Colón, Entrepreneur, Author, Speaker, Teacher, Pastor, Blogger and best of all, Husband and Father of 4. Living the re-Branded life