Have you ever felt that your best was not good enough? You tried as hard as you could – you did your best – ever, but it still didn’t seem to work.
I have news for you… we all go through that same experience.
I’m going to give you some insight on how I have dealt with such conclusions. But first, let’s deal with the root of that notion.
Much of our disillusionment in life are due to high expectations. Some expectations come from what others think we should do, say, or produce, while other expectations are those of our own doing. Don’t get me wrong, it is good to have high expectations of ourselves, but not to an extreme.
Part of society’s problems is that the level of standards has been compromised. Truth is that our standards determine our expectations. If you have no standards then you would have no expectations.
Of course, I’m not taking about expectations on fixing leaky faucet in my bathroom. If you have the skill and you are offering me the service, then that means I can expect you to fix my faucet. Simple!
The standards we’re talking about are not the outcome of the skill, but of the process of it. In other words it’s about how you go about fixing my faucet. Would you show up on time as scheduled? Will you light up a cigarette in my bathroom while fixing the faucet? Will you take your shoes off or ask if you should take them off when entering my house?
Are you presentable and professional in your approach, people’s relations, speech and mannerisms? Will you explain to me the problem or just get your check and leave when done? These are the standards we’re talking about here
The dilemma we face
It’s the dilemma we parents face when our children mysteriously become disrespectful, cocky and plain ole embarrassing when dealing with others. It is when they decide to become nearly the opposite of what we’ve taught them during their younger years.
We think “something changed.” The bigger problem is not only to realize that the child has changed or that the plumber is a jerk and careless or that somehow money is not coming in as expected.
The bigger problem is that, if we are hard on ourselves and have extremely high expectations, we feel the responsibility of the failure or the shortcoming of others blaming ourselves as the key to the problem.
Somehow a chill goes down our back when we think: “my best was not good enough.” Depression tends to set in and we begin to go on a downward spiral, and defeat seems to be the agenda of the day.
But there is a way out
In his book, Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill said; “When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.”
Now, sometimes that’s easier said than done. This is why I going to give you some tips that have worked for me as well as for countless others. These tips help tremendously to get over the notion that your best is not or never will be good enough.
1. Determine the nature of the defeat. Try to figure out if the problem was your lack of leadership, influence or if it was just a lack of communication or implementation from the opposite party.
2. Be sure that the responsibility falls on you first before you blame yourself. Sometimes is not about who to blame. Instead look at the situation objectively and determine if it was another one of those “life’s stumbling blocks” we all face from time to time, and just deal with it.
3. Understand that everything needs time to develop or to work out. We live in a society where “time” is no longer accepted, instead, we push for less time to do things. I have learned that EVERYTHING takes time to implement. I used to get a rush about beating time. If I had one hour to get something done, I’d push for forty five minutes or even a half hour. The satisfaction of beating time was greater than the actual accomplishment. Weird, I know.
4. Pray about the situation before you get to the conclusion of number 1.
5. Rebound. If your best was really not good enough, then relearn, refocus, restart, and re-implement. Sometimes, you need to say or do things more than once before it catches on. How do you think this blog got to where it is today? Hummm…
6. Believe God will help you during the process as well as with the outcome. God is faithful – you can count on him.
7. Be sure to apply Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” But before you implement this make sure you are convinced of Job 4:22 “I know that you can do all things and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted”
You must be confident that you are called with a purpose and you are on a mission to do what you need to do, as a mother, a father, a child, a worker, a business owner, a counselor, a minister, etc.
Know that you are in the right place at the right time, doing what’s right, and go at it again. Let nothing stand in the way of doing what is right in God’s eyes and be sure to do what you gotta do with the right heart and the right motives.
Every time I put these principles into action the end-result is always positive and the future turns out to be much better than what I even expected. And you will too.
Ps. I wonder what other principles or practices have worked for you in the process of dealing with defeat or dealing with your “best.” Share your comments. If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends too.
About the Author
Alex Colón, Entrepreneur, Author, Speaker, Teacher, Pastor, Blogger and best of all, Husband and Father of 4. Living the re-Branded life