Part 2 of a 3 part series
HERE to read Part 1.
Have you ever done something once or twice even after saying “I’m sorry” to your spouse?
The problem with this is that it doesn’t feel good at all – does it? It’s a bummer!
In fact, it makes you feel miserable that had the same bad attitude, or you misinterpret his/her statements or actions, or you forgot to pay him/her attention.
I hate it when that happens. Don’t you?
Marriage was never meant to be easy, but it was meant to be united. When two imperfect lives work hard at being united, sooner or later things will be said and done that will hurt the one or the other. This is nearly inevitable.
Did you think that after your wedding night you’d never hurt your spouse? Or, did you ever think your loving spouse will ever hurt you in any way, shape or form?
Of course not. That’s the last thing most couples think or plan to deal with during their wedding preparations.
Most couples don’t think about that – unless their dating time was rough. But most aren’t.
Once the marriage relationship begins, the bumps on the road are experienced and feelings get hurt, misunderstandings are inevitable and the wrong things are said or done.
Fact: Most people spend a long time planning their wedding but fail to plan their marriage.
Both are important, but planning for the marriage is much more important.
The good news is – there is a solution.
"Most people spend a long time planning their wedding but fail to plan their marriage" Click to Tweet
In my last post, we talked about the first habit of the 3 Habits Marriages Seldom Practice, which is the heart-felt phrase: “I’m sorry.”
Just for a quick review, in our western world, the term “I’m sorry” has become a very loose phrase. The utterance of such expression ought to emulate a sense of possibly guilt, or at least a bad feeling as a result of wrong doing.
According to Dictionary.com, the term “sorry” is: “feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.: to be sorry to leave one's friends; to be sorry for a remark; to be sorry for someone in trouble.” It is also a time or the feeling of grieve.
I also mentioned that every time you utter the phrase “I’m sorry,” it demonstrates five things:
1. You love your spouse
2. You consider your spouse
3. You respect your spouse’s feelings.
4. You honor your spouse
5. You value your spouse’s position in the disagreement or misunderstanding
Now, let’s continue with the second of the 3 Habits Marriages Seldom Practice
Repentance goes far beyond the “sorry” feelings of regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.
The word or the act of “repentance” is much more clear and straight to the point from its origin found in the Bible.
The Bible word most often translated repentance means a change of mental and spiritual attitude toward sin.
In other words, repentance is to express distinct purposes of turning from sin to righteousness, from wrong doing to right doing, from wrong thinking to proper thinking.
Repentance is also a complete turnaround.
The picture of repentance implies that if you’re going Westbound, you MUST turn around and head Eastbound.
Repentance is a complete turnaround from wrong doing to right doing, from wrong thinking to proper thinking. Click to Tweet
It’s that simple.
Though simple, yet harder to live by.
Being sorry is one thing – repenting is quite another.
Repenting requires a willingness to change, not just a feeling for wrong doing.
So when I say “I’m sorry, I messed up. I won’t do it again” to my wife, that means that I feel bad about what I did or said to her, as well confirming my commitment to change my behavior.
This is why it’s important that we walk in an attitude or repentance because we’re not perfect in nature. Hence we require changing our walk in order to stay in the straight and narrow marriage path.
In short, when you truly repent, you demonstrate that…
1. You love your spouse enough to change or to turn from your wrong doing.
2. You’re considerate toward your spouse.
3. You respect your spouse’s feelings.
4. You honor your spouse’s position within the relationship.
5. You value your spouse’s position in the disagreement or misunderstanding.
6. You value the unity and sanctify of your marriage relationship.
Yes, be sorry, but also be sure to repent.
This will take your marriage relationship to whole new level of respect, intimacy and security that you never thought before.
My free course 4 Simple Steps To Lead Your Family with Vision, will help you stay the course and say I’m sorry or have to repent less times than before.
Action: Leave a comment below on what else you demonstrate to your spouse when you repent of your wrong doing. Help make this post more helpful to others.
Here's part 3