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In my driving lifetime I’ve had more than a dozen cars – some new and most of them used or old.
Currently, we have three vehicles that are getting up there in miles. I enjoy driving one of the cars, a 2001 Acura Tl 3.2. Nothing fancy, but it sure has great pick-up.
With all its great pick-up and luxury items, this car has given me two warning signs so far. The latest one was very aggravating.
For example, one day I dropped my son off at work. The car was in park.
I tried to put it in reverse only to discover that I could not release the gear shift. I knew to manually get the car out of park and home I went.
The problem was, I still didn’t have stop lights. The same switch that release the gear shift also controls the stop lights when you step on the break pedal. I drove home over 20 miles constantly watching for Mr. Cop in case I had to break.
Thankfully I made it home - with no ticket. Yes!
It was frustrating because the obvious things that could’ve fix the problem were not it. To make a long story short, after a ton of research, I discovered that a wire had broken somewhere in a hidden crevices of the front panel. So I had to re-wire the brake lights.
“What does this have to do with my marriage?” you might ask. Everything!
See, every marriage encounters warning signs that tells us our marriage is not functioning properly. It’s still working and moving forward but with a few things that are not quit to biblical code.
As a result, we must stop, consider, research and repair the problems the warning signs are giving us.
So here are 10 Warning Signs a Marriage is In Trouble
1. You feel like you’ve never truly been happy together.
Have you ever felt that you weren’t as happy as you hoped to be in your marriage? Sure, most people have. It’s part of the growing process.
At this point you must discover what it is that’s causing the distraction and the lack of love, attention and enjoyment in your marriage.
For some it could be too many hours of work. Others may be physical conditions, while for others could be some type of addiction that could be causing the problem.
Some people begin to look elsewhere or compare their spouse with someone else thinking that the grass looks much greener on the other side. This is one fat lie.
One thing I can assure you, the grass is never greener on the other side, unless it’s been fertilized more than yours. Fertilizer is often made of manure – so consider your options.
2. You can’t agree on goals and values in the marriage.
When you reach this point, it’s time to refocus. Remember, if you don’t have any goals, it’s because you don’t have a vision for your marriage.
If you can’t agree on values, then it’s maybe, just maybe, the motives might need to be revisited.
3. You feel like other people have priority over you in the relationship.
Marriage carries a sense of intentional and consistent giving your primary loyalty to your spouse.
If your loyalty isn’t to your spouse (or their loyalty isn’t to you), then the marriage is broken. You and your spouse need to give each other your very best. Your spouse shouldn’t have to get your leftovers and you shouldn’t have to settle for less either.
If this is happening in your marriage, please take action to redefine the priorities and place the marriage back on top.
4. You no longer have fun together.
What do you mean, no date nights?
No table games either?
No laughter in your marriage?
You used to. What happened?
When the joy of marriage is lost, it’s time to refocus and regain this important aspect of your marriage.
Laughter is like medicine to the soul and a booster of energy to your marriage.
5. Past hurts and past mistakes are mentioned at certain times, which shows a lack of forgiveness.
Dr. Greg Smalley says: “forgiveness accounts for about a third of marital satisfaction.”
When you forgive your spouse, be sure to remove those hurts and past mistakes from the forefront of your memory. If those memories resurface at certain times, remember that they’ve been dealt with – don’t bring them up again – ever!
6. You feel suspicious of each-other or the trust factor has diminished.
I have seen countless marriages live this way. This is one of the most destructive ways to live as married couples. Are you worried that after forgiving your spouse you can’t trust them?
You must remember that forgiveness and trust are two things. You must forgive quickly, but trust may take a little bit of time to regain and rebuild.
So cut yourself some slack – both of you need to cut each other some serious slack.
It’s important to trust your husband or your wife – much more important than trusting a reliable car. So work on this warning sign as soon as possible.
7. You’re happier when you or your spouse is away from home.
This is one of those warning signs that call for a quick tune-up. When this is happening, that means that there are a various causes that bring about this false sense of happiness.
Get your parts and tools together because you’re going to need a tune-up on this marriage vehicle.
"Laughter is like medicine to the soul and a booster of energy to your marriage." - Alex Colon Click to Tweet
8. You don’t feel like you have your spouse’s full support.
We all need support – especially from our spouses.My wife and I refuse to go ahead with a project or an idea without each other support.
This warning sign is called:division. It’s time to refocus on the marriage vision and set some goals to get to the proper destination – together.
I have a free course that walks you through this extensively.Click here to download it.It’ll help you immensely.
9. You feel like roommates.
Loneliness still exists even when your spouse is at home. You know, I enjoyed my two years of college with my roommate.
Today, after 30 some years, we live two hours away and still stay in touch.
We’re best of friends. Our spouses are also best of friends. But when it comes to my wife, I can’t stand the thought of her ever becoming my “roommate.” Those days are over for me. I have a wife – not a roommate.
If you feel like your spouse has become your roommate instead, then it's time to fix the intimacy (both emotional and physical) between the two of you.
10. Divorce becomes a regular thought in the back of your mind.
Make it a rule – “The ‘D’ word will never be mentioned in our house.”Even if you tend to entertain that thought, still come against it and put Jesus first in your marriage.You’ll see it change drastically.
Because of these 10 warning signs a marriage is in trouble I wrote a course to help couples defeat the apathy, and enemies of a thriving marriage.
I urge you to go through this course. Even if your marriage is great – your marriage still needs a vision to follow.
Avoid these warning signs by implementing a vision, goals, and a determination to have a thriving marriage.
Question: What other warning signs do you know that we can avoid. Help us improve our marriages.