Part 1 of a three part series.
Who said that marriage was easy? Did you think your marriage (or future marriage) would be a bed of roses, peaches and cream?
If that was the case, you're in for a big surprise. Read on...
When I was young, I thought being married would be a cakewalk around the lake.
Boy was I wrong!
Have you ever dealt with that feeling – you know, that troubling feeling that marriage is supposed to be a fun and fulfilling experience, but then it turns out to be tough and nearly impossible?
Ever wonder if there’s some type of magic pill that can fix your marriage, remove the heartaches or simply get you on the right track?
Well, this is why I’m writing this post.
With over 27 years of marriage experience, dozens of marriage counseling sessions and premarital counseling, as well as tons of family counseling – I have learned a thing or two that might help you get on the right track.
In fact, in this free course, I take you through a very specific way to lead your marriage and your family with vision, avoiding most pitfalls in a marriage/family relationship.
Here’s a quick reality check for you: marriage is composed of two imperfect people.
This tells me that both individuals will make mistakes, have emotional ups and downs and will say or do the wrong thing at some point in time.
But there’s a solution to fix these issues – and eventually learn to avoid them.
You can get my free ebook: 5 Sure Life-Hacks To Identity Your Life's Purpose now.
There are three habits within the marriage relationship that will have to be stated, acted upon and constantly practiced – whether you like it or not.
For some, these three habits/words/actions/ and practices are difficult to execute depending upon their upbringing and willingness to work with their spouse.
I’m simply talking about the phrase: “I’m sorry”, the act of “Repentance” and the practice of “Forgiveness.”
Believe me when I tell you – these three are of utmost importance and probably the most difficult to inhabit by most.
Because it’s easier to hold on to the sinful destructive nature of the human soul. It’s easier to just sweep the negative output under the rug and try to “forget about it.”
What you can’t normally forget is the nagging feeling of the pain that was caused by the negative output.
Holding onto anger, however poisons the soul, while marinating your spirit with toxins that will affect everything else in your life - especially in this most important of all your human relationships.
Marriage is not about competing with who’s right or who’s wrong – it’s about mending two imperfect lives towards a common goal. Tweet This
Let’s take a look at each one of these and see if you’re on the right track with your marriage habits.
Before I continue, let me remind you that this is part one of a three part series on this topic. I want to make sure that you understand and be able to implement these three habits easily and habitually.
In the process, happiness in your marriage is attainable.
Let’s begin with the first of the 3 Habits Marriages Seldom Practice
1. I’m Sorry
In our western world, the term “I’m sorry” has become a very loose phrase.
The utterance of such expression ought to emulate a sense of possibly guilt, or at least a bad feeling from a wrong doing.
According to Dictionary.com, the term “sorry” is: “feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.: to be sorry to leave one's friends; to be sorry for a remark; to be sorry for someone in trouble.”
Many people of all ages and statuses use the word “sorry” for anything and everything they “feel” wrong about – whether they mean it or not.
I’m not saying that everyone who says “I’m sorry” don’t mean it. I’m sure most do. But many don’t.
Have you ever said: “oh, sorry” just to appease the other person without meaning it.
Many of us have.
This type of “oh, sorry” is bogus – in my book. I believe that when I say “I’m sorry” I should mean it. If I don’t then not only will I be considered a hypocrite by others, but also their trust level in my character will diminish greatly.
In a marriage relationship, the habit of saying “I’m sorry” is one that is necessary in order to express a deep feeling of regret that your spouse has been hurt in some way.
This expression will keep the relationship at arm’s length from further arguments, or further destructive acts.
Be sure to tell your spouse that you are sorry every time you do something wrong, whether you think it was wrong or not.
If they were hurt or offended by it, demonstrate your feelings of regret.
Every time you utter the phrase “I’m sorry,” to your spouse it demonstrates five things:
a. You love your spouse
b. You consider your spouse
c. You respect your spouse’s feelings.
d. You honor your spouse
e. You value your spouse’s position in the disagreement or misunderstanding.
Feeling bad or guilty about something big or small (I’m sorry) is a demonstration of a person’s character. To value the other person’s life is a habit many marriages seldom practice.
Whether you think you’re wrong or justified, implementing the habit of saying: “I’m sorry” will take your marriage relationship to a level many have never been before.
One way to start this habit, if you haven’t already, is to say to your spouse: “I know I messed up - I’m sorry.” “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I’m sorry.” “I was looking at things only my way – I’m sorry.”
You’ll be amazed at the quality of your marriage when you keep a humble attitude regardless if your spouse does.
Marriage is not about competing with who’s right or who’s wrong – it’s about mending two imperfect lives towards a common goal.
Question: What emotion have you experienced by telling your spouse you were sorry for something you did? Did you experience a sense of freedom, peace, love, acceptance, or what?
Please share your comments below.
Here are the next two parts to this series:
3 Habits Marriages Seldom Practice - Part 2
3 Habits Marriages Seldom Practice - Part 3