Most people build a home by first drawing a blueprint. I say some because I do know some people that have built their homes without one. Often, those homes that were built without a blueprint they experienced its challenges years later.
The foundation begins to crack or leak. The supported walls were slightly placed in the wrong place causing cracks in the ceiling. Some had slanted walls and even worse, a leaky roof.
One thing is to build a house without blueprints, which, if not built properly, they could still be fixed and livable at a hefty price but the sad thing – most marriages are built on the whim, shooting from the hip sort-to-speak.
Most couples don’t have access to the proper engineering system to help them build the proper structure for their marriage and for their homes.
Every person and every marriage is different. Every family has different challenges and different make-ups. But every person, as well as every family needs a common foundation, common and simple support “walls” and “beams” to help them maintain stability, sustainability and a strong home life
In my personal and professional experience, I have learned that it is vitally important to have a blueprint for marriage and for the family. They both need a guide – a way to establish the proper security, and stability with lasting results, established on a solid foundation with a secured structure.
The world moves at a rapid pace causing both young and old to constantly want or do something else – something different. We face challenges that our forefathers never did.
Our forefathers primarily farmed and tended the house and their families.
Today, that system has changed. Today our fathers are very challenged in many areas.
In today’s world we have 40-50 hour jobs, astronomical medical bills, degraded food components causing more illnesses and diseases than ever before.
If that’s not enough, there are pressurized extra-curricular actives for our children, longer hours in school while learning less.
The media industry has taken a turn to challenge the core of the family unit, generate more temptations (primarily in men that are stimulated by sight) while “professionals” provide shady or week answers to some of these problems causing more expenses, more stress and less results.
God has given us a simple, yet solid structure - a trusted blueprint for living that does not need a professional to implement it, design it or build it.
It simply needs somebody to read it, understand it (because our 21st century is so out of touch with our 1st century verbiage, cultures and realities) and it simply requires an open heart, and the willingness to work it into our family structure.
King David once penned in Psalm 127: “Except the LORD build the house, they labor in vain that build it…). Building a house with God’s blueprint will actually help you labor successfully.
The values and the results you experience by building your marriage, your family – your home, will last you a lifetime providing you with possible and profitable results, where stress is limited and joy and happiness are a normal aspect of life.
This blueprint I’m talking about has several components that will help you establish a solid marriage, a strong home and a happy life.
Here are 5 components to a successful marriage blueprint:
Without vision people perish. Where there is no vision people have no direction and very little to nothing is accomplished.Without vision you have chaos and dissatisfaction.
A vision without goals is nothing more than mere wishing. Every vision needs goals, standards, and direction.Without a road-map, you have no direction and you will accomplish no vision at all.It is important to establish some goals to reach the destination of your vision.
Prayer is a must in doing anything and everything.In my life, prayer is of utmost importance.I believe that if I want God’s blessings in my marriage and in my family, I better talk to God about it – make Him a part of my project and go at it His way.And guess what?It works!
In your vision crafting and in your lifetime building of your home, it is important to accept your family members as they are. This might seem obvious but the reality is that many families break up or married couples wind up as mere roommates because somewhere along the line they failed to accept each other for who they were.
Often times we, subconsciously, work at making our spouses according our own image. We want them to like what we like, do what we do and even talk the same we do.
In my 27 years of marriage I’ve learned that my wife will forever be different than me.Some of her ways I tussle a bit with, but I’ve learned to accept the way she sees things and the way she thinks.It’s different than my way of thinking – and that’s OK.
I think that’s one of those things I liked about her before we dated, so I might as well learn to live with it without complain and without criticism.God gave me that woman – she’s God’s gift to me.Perfect? NO - But neither am I.
So to this day, we both work at growing and build our home structure according to God’s blueprint.
Not only is acceptance necessary, but you need to be at a place where you are fully satisfied with your spouse, with your kids, and with your lifestyle.
Dissatisfaction will drive you towards more “things” not towards those you love.
Learning the blueprint and building your marriage accordingly, will give you the perimeters as well as the freedom to “be”, to “do”, and to “have” according to your plans.
I believe that most homes are very dissatisfied with their spouses and even with their children. During those teen years when those lives begin to take a different turn that we don’t like and are unwilling to accept, dissatisfaction sets in and separation becomes the norm.
It’s time to be satisfied with our acceptance built on the foundation of our blueprints that is established in prayer with result driven goals from the solid foundation of our vision.
Establishing a satisfactory blueprint for your marriage, will also encourage you to craft one for your family as well. That’s why I have been putting together a free course that will teach you what my wife and I have done for the last 15 years in crafting our marriage and family vision.
In this course you will not only have a video but I am making available a free pdf downloadable outline for you to use on your vision crafting day.
This course will be available on this blog shortly. Stay tuned. You can sign up to receive my blog posts in which you will also be notified as soon as that course becomes available.
My wife and I are passionate about the family unit. We have taught and coached many couples on their relationships and in their child rearing skills. We believe that a strong country, a strong community and a strong church is composed of strong families with strong marriages.
There is more to this blueprint but the details could be cumbersome in a 1200 word blog post.
Question: What else could you add to this marriage blueprint to make it more successful?