Never try to build a house without first laying a foundation. The same principle applies to your marriage and your family.
Let me explain. I don’t care how eager you are to get your new home finished, how excited you are about filling it with furniture and decorating it all just right – take time to put down a solid foundation first - hopefully, according to the blueprint.
If you don’t, that house will be so unstable, it will soon come tumbling down.
That’s simple advice, isn’t it? Anyone with any sense at all knows it – you’d think.
Let me tell you a quick story. I build a house with poured cement walls for its foundation. I build it as a walkout basement. We were so eager to get in and get it livable.
It took us weeks and months of great labor to get this house done. But in six months (which it’s pretty incredible when you have a full-time business operation and a ministry to responsible for), we moved in. then the décor began.
A few years later, my next-door neighbor also build a house with the same type of basement, but different foundation. His foundation was build out of cement blocks.
He was a construction man. He had a very successful business, so he knew what he was doing.
The foundation was straight, and well done.
However, after two years of his building project, his walls began to cave in, while mine are still standing strong after 15 years of living in it.
What happened? What went wrong? That’s the same question many have asked in disbelieve.
I have seen countless homes build on cement blocks – so obviously, the blocks were not the problem.
The problem was two-fold. First, the house is a two-story house, which puts out a lot of weight. Secondly, the basement is your typical 8 foot walls high, which required a lot of cement blocks.
Where am I going with this? Sounds normal, doesn’t it?
Well, the problem lies in the ground work of the foundation. As the ground shifted, and the house settled, everything then began to change.
The building was too heavy for its foundation and the weight of the structure was too much for the cement blocks to handle it. So much so, that the walls began to cave in, or bow inward.
It was weird.
Nobody expected it.
Never try to build a home or a marriage without first laying a solid foundation. -Alex Colon
I find that in the spiritual realm people make that same mistake all the time, regarding their own lives, their marriages and their families' foundation.
They see a blessing in getting married and establish a family but most of the arrangements are designed around financial and material decisions – making sure there’s plenty to have a “happy home.”
Most people are desperate for a quick financial, material, and relational fix, they just pull a few prosperity promises out of the Bible or out of somebody else’s experience and try to believe them – without allowing God to change anything else in their lives. Of course, it doesn’t work and those people always end up disappointed.
It’s important to truly grasp what 3 John 2 says – “I want you to prosper, as your soul prospers.” He tied prosperity of all areas to the prosperity of our spiritual lives.
In light of this scripture, God wants to prosper us financially, materially, relationally, and every other way, to the degree that our spiritual and emotional lives are built.
You might think that your greatest need is financial or material, like a house or a car, better job, better or more education, etc. But let me remind you that your greatest need is in your foundation – your inner man.
Much like my neighbor’s house – a beautiful structure yet with a weak foundation that appeared suitable – yet unstable.
The amazing thing is – there’s a remedy for his house, and there’s also hope for a marriage, a home, a family.
With some simple (for a contractor) reinforcing the foundation of this house was enough to save the house and make it livable for years to come.
The foundations of many homes and marriages are caving in for some reason or another. Yet there’s hope – a remedy that will keep the unit livable and enjoyable with purpose for years to come.
The key is in the foundation – the inner man.
Here’s are 5 ways I’ve learned to grow my inner man, experience growth and build a solid foundation for my marriage, family, business, ministry, and relationships with friends.
1. Read, Study, Practice, and Live the Word of God – the Bible.
God’s Word has the power to transform your life with its foundational and permanent principles and spiritual laws that cover your entire life. Building your faith will diminish your stress a great deal.
2. Find a scripture that deals with different areas that need a breakthrough
and stand on that Word by believing it and speaking it over the situation. Believe what the scripture says, not what the circumstances are yelling at you. God’s Word is settled – your situation is subject to change.
3. Speak the right words
over your situation, over your spouse, over your family and over your entire life. In other words, don’t be critical. Find ways to speak positive, pleasant, purposeful and powerful words over everything. Why? Because words eventually materialize. Everything you say is a seed – it’ll bring forth fruit sooner or later.
4. Focus on building your character.
Skills, talents and abilities can get you to the top of success, but it is character that will keep you there. Your gifting makes a way of prosperity for you, but it’s character that will make the impact. (Proverbs 18:16)
Spend time with God every day (reading and praying for as much time as you can spend), spend time with your spouse every day (even for 30 minutes over a cup of coffee), and spend time with your kids every day, doing an activity or simply over the dinner table.
This will build a home life for you like nothing else ever will. This is just regular maintenance – everyday living. This is not the major quality times, like retreats, vacations and marriage seminars, etc.
Building a solid foundation gives you a secure structure that will help you enjoy your everyday life with others as well as with yourself, while enjoying God’s blessings all the way around.
I wonder, what other steps have you taken to build your inner man and establish a solid foundation that helped your marriage or your family? Be awesome and share below.