Mutual Respect

3 areas where respect is very important to a successful marriage

Have you wondered about what is that “thing” that makes a marriage happy and successful?
 
While there are a few factors that play into a successful marriage, I want to point out one area that is often missed by many in their description of a successful marriage.
 
Mutual respect within the marriage relationship is vitally important.  
 
There are several areas where mutual respect is necessary to maintain a happy and successful marriage relationship.

Love, acceptance and communication are always what comes up when surveys are done or when counseling is needed. 
 
However, in my years of experience with various couples, including our own marriage, my wife and I have learned the importance of mutual respect.  
 
We all know what respect is.  Sometimes I think we need to define that what it really is.  But for the sake of keeping this article in perspective and not necessarily "politically correct" let me give you the definition of "respect." 
 
According to dictionary.com, respect is: “esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability”
 
“Mutual respect is key”, Melvin said when asked about the successful longevity of his 75the year marriage anniversary.
 
With that definition in mind, let me give you 3 areas where respect is very important to a successful marriage.


1.  During communication.  

Mutual respect during a peaceful conversation is important.  Even during those times when disagreement is woven within the conversation - respect is very much needed.
 
I’m very bad at this.  I'm a great listener when I talk to people including talking with my wife.  Though I'm paying attention to our conversation, yet I have this bad habit of subconsciously thinking about the next thing I'm going to say.  
 
Meanwhile I seem to forget what she's saying and I butt right into the conversation to throw in my two cents.  You know what I'm talking about?
 
And you know what?  That is ultimate rudeness!
 
This is the time when most spouses get aggravated at each other and sometimes the voice tends to go up in volume due to the lack of respect being practiced.  
 
In our conversation with others - letting others talk, especially when we have something to say is important.  This can be a special moment - becoming a much more intelligent conversation filled with respect, as opposed to a tournament for the most words thrown into the topic.  
 
Respect during conversations is imperative in every relationship.  Even - or should I say, especially, when we disagree. 

"Respect during conversations is imperative in every relationship,   Especially when we disagree."  - Alex Colon   Click to Tweet

2.  Respect at the table.  

When passing plates and food around.  Let others go first - especially your spouse. 
 
I know a family that every single solitary time we have a meal together the husband will serve himself first – before his guests. 
 
While eating at the table, whatever is in front of you to serve, have the person to your right serve themselves first.  When it comes to your wife, have her serve herself first. 
 
This is one area of respect that is often overlooked in many relationships.

The table is where families come to feast and enjoy a meal together.   Might as well be a memorable time with mutual respect.

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Respect is not only for the husband to offer his wife.  The wife can also offer her husband respect when she then chooses to have her husband go first.
 
In our house, for example, often times my wife will do two things to give me my respective respect when we’re both alone or as as a family:

a.  She lets me say grace before the meal. 
To her, that is my place first as the priest of the home.  C’mon guys, this is priesthood 101 – right!

b.  She sometimes serves me, or let’s me go first. 

One thing my kids have learned around the table is manners, and manners include mutual respect.


3.  Respect when going through a door or an opening.  
 
When you and your wife are about to enter a building – open the door for her. 
 
When she’s getting in the car – open the door for her.
 
Let your wife go first - just open the door. 
 
This is simple, but very often overlooked – especially after the honeymoon is over.
 
We’ve got to remember that if we want our children or grandchildren to be respected by their own spouses and families, they must learn how to respect first at home. 

Teaching respect, living respect and demonstrating respect is a simple behavior in life for every generation. 

I’m well aware that we live in a generation who cares very little about respect.

When tolerance is simply the main word/concept used these days – mutual respect is often nowhere to be found.

Respect for others, especially in the home, is one key to developing a happy and successful marriage.

Leading your family with purpose requires mutual respect in order to experience great advancement while enjoying the journey.