Nut Fallacy: 5 Ways For Mom To Help Her Stubborn Child Grow Up.

Blog post by: Deborah Colόn

“You know the nut does not fall far from the tree”  I'm sure you've heard this cliché before. 

Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends – they have all said “the nut does not fall far from the tree.”   Usually it has a little negative twist to it.  There are times it refers to a specific trait of your child called stubbornness.

When my daughter was a baby, the trait of stubbornness was there in full bloom.  That cute little chubby cheeked, brown eyed beauty was stubborn to get her own little way. 

She had met her match; her Mamma could be just as stubborn if not more stubborn than that little bundle of cuteness.  I guess you could say that the “little nut” bumped into the “bigger nut.”

Due to this little nut being close to her Mamma tree, I knew direction from the Lord was desperately needed.  The Lord did not bless me with a child for us to be at odds with each other now and for the rest of our lives. 

This Mamma got stubborn for direction from the Lord as to how to raise my little nut and the future nuts to come.

The Lord did not bless us with children to be at odds with them - ever!
                                                                                                                     - Deborah Colon

This is what the Lord taught me through His gentle way in His word, books that I read and caring mammas that I had the privilege of watching.


1.  When stubbornness is an issue with your child, first you have to look at the tree – YOU.  

Taking a good look at myself helped me see where I was stubborn most and where I needed to make some adjustments.  Which leads me to my next point:


2.  Make the necessary changes. 

In other words – grow up.  Sometimes our biggest hindrances with our relationships with our children is that we think they are the ones that need to grow up, when it might be us that need a little growing to do. 

Sure the child needs to grow up - duh!  But sometimes we have issues from the past that we're still hanging on to that need fixing - if not, it will hinder our relationships from developing into something beautiful.



3.  Realize that the world does not revolve around you - what you want and how you want it.  

My husband and I have learned that living for our family is much more rewarding than living for our selfish-selves. 

This does not mean that we'll never get ourselves a new outfit, or go on dates, or hang out with our friends.  It simply means, that we do whatever it takes to help our children mature to the stature of their design and build ourselves to help them build their own lives. 

This is why we craft our yearly family vision - in order to keep all of us focused and move towards God's design for our family.   You can Tweet This too. 


4.  You are the parent, lead by example. 

What kind of example? Let me paint the picture by sharing one of my prayers: “Lord I pray that the stubbornness you have blessed me with will be used for what will glorify You in all that I think, say and do.  I want to be stubborn to do what is right in your eyes according to Your Word.  Thank you for the stubbornness to do what is Biblically right.”



5.  Pray for your little nut. 

So, how do you pray for your little nut?  The same way you prayed for yourself.  “Lord I pray that my child’s stubbornness will be to love, serve and do Your will all the days of his/her life. I pray that my child will be stubborn to follow your ways, even when it is not popular in the eyes of family or friends.”

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Speaking from experience, my daughter is now 24 yrs old.  I prayed over her when she was little that the stubbornness she contained would be used to glorify God and His ways and that she would be stubborn for the right reasons. 

She strives to do the will of the Lord, even when it is not popular with family and friends.  She has been an example to many young ladies of how to be stubborn for the right reasons.

Be encouraged Mammas, God does not bless you with children to be a curses in your life.  In the Bible, children are called a blessing.  But every child needs a praying mamma – or a bigger nut for the right reasons.

Question:  How did you direct your own stubbornness to help lead and develop your "little nut" in the right direction?  Share below.