5 strategies to fight and win the current war for your marriage.
Just a few minutes ago our family finished watching the old movie “Patriot.” It was good for our teenagers to have an idea of how, in part, our country became the free country we now enjoy.
But after the movie was over, the thought hit me: "Why do we have to fight?” And another, “What do we fight for?”
After a series of these thoughts, the answer seemed to have come out of nowhere: “We fight for what we believe"
Shortly thereafter, another thought came to mind.
This time it was a verse in Ephesians 6:12 "We fight not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."
I won't go into the meaning of each spiritual rank of these demonic forces that we all fight, but suffice it to say that we are ALL at war.
Truth is the real war (for your marriage and family) has never ended.
Everyone one of us is at war. And every one of us can win. Later, I will show you how with the couple’s guide to successfully win the current war for your marriage.
But what do we war over? What do we fight about?
Let me put it more direct. Your life is always in a battle - the battle for what you hold dear and believe whole heartedly.
The enemy of your soul is fighting to take away and gain ground in your own home.
That’s right. We all fight for our homes - our marriages, our children, our values, and our faith.
For decades and even centuries, we’ve been fighting to keep our children from being indoctrinated in some lie that will have them compromise their own lives - their faith, their health and their education.
I can go on but let me take this a step further – that which influences our children most.
We are also fighting for our marriages. In fact, The War You’re Currently Fighting For In Your Marriage is very real.
Early today I heard a report that 21% of husbands in America cheat on their wives at some point.
I'm not going to crank on the men, nor will I start getting on the women's conditions either because the fact of the matter is, we are at war.
More often than not, the person we're usually fighting against (including our spouses) are not the ones we're really fighting against, instead, they are the ones we're often fighting for.
So here are 5 strategies my wife and I have learned over the years on how to fight and win the current war for your marriage.
1. Stay committed for better or for worse
Duringhappy times and during boring times, commitment is crucial during war time. Commitment is an honest revelation of the love we once vowed to at an altar.
2. Be truthful
I remember one time I kept something from my wife concerned that she would misunderstand the situation. I didn't want to explain, sounding like I was trying to justify myself. So I kind of lied to her.
This didn't go over well. I then vowed to never lie. When it comes to her, she couldn't lie even if she wanted to - that's how honest she is.
So be truthful – always.
Commitment is an honest revelation of the love we once vowed to at an altar. Alex Colόn Click To Tweet
3. Live for the other
Most people get married to be happy. Being happy is not the ultimate reason for marriage, neither is it to be satisfied.
The main reason to get married is to become the completion of our spouses. They were our missing link. Once we got married we became linked together as one - complete.
So live for your spouse instead of for yourself. The result often turns out to be very amazingly rewarding.
4. Fight fair
So it wasn’t your fault but your spouse started an argument?
Ok, then let’s the air clear and let’s talk – but don’t feed fuel to the fire. Discuss the issue at hand and don't let it become a heated fight whereby pain will then be another issue to deal with.
Furthermore, don't let the son go down on your wrath. In other words, don't go to bed mad. My wife and I tried that too when we were first married, and let me tell you it didn’t work at all.
Neither one of us could sleep. We were up til about 2am before we came together and apologized, cried and made things right. We then were able to fall asleep.
Needless to say, that was the last time we let the son go down on our wrath and our arguments are often disagreement that we don’t let fester into something bigger that was never meant to be.
"Once we got married we became linked together as one - complete." -
5. Make your spouse Numero Uno
Make it a habit to make your spouse the number one person, appointment, commitment and reason you live. Not your job, not your education, not your kids either - just your spouse.
This is the greatest love you will ever display for your own kids, by the way.
When you make your spouse numero uno in your life, they will in turn do the same for you (if they weren’t used to it beforehand).
This is how my wife and I learned live. Not as a perfect couple, but as a couple that puts the one ahead of the other.
So, love each other, fight fair, live for the other, always be honest with each other and committed to your cause your marriage.
Oh and one more ' but definitely the most important ' Pray for one another.
Prayer is your greatest weapon of strategy. This is where you get your wisdom from heaven to work with your spouse properly and fight boldly for them.
Prayer is your only direct communication with heaven’s headquarters. His Word is your greatest weapon against the enemy, while prayer gives you the wisdom and strategy to use it.
The principles listed above are your maintenance skills. That’s where you live peacefully.
Question: What other ways or strategies would you add to fight for your marriage or your family?